things. take. time.

About 6 months ago, I was THE most stressed out I’ve been in a very long time. It was a big time in my life, because well, I was going to college. I was leaving my friends. Leaving my family. I was leaving home.

Now, my whole life, I’ve always moved around. Always moved place to place, and never thought much of it, but this time was completely different. I would be doing it alone. Completely alone. Not one single person came to the same college, and although that had its perks… it definitely had its downsides. Completely. Alone.

Anyways, after months of anticipation leading up to moving in, it finally happened. My family helped me unpack amidst crazy chaos, said our goodbyes, cried a little (a lot), and then they…. drove off. I was alone.

The next couple of days *ahem, weeks*, were extremely hard. Every day, I made attempts to hang out with new people- go grab lunch, go out to dinner, get coffee, join clubs, keep myself occupied. I had fun, of course, but it just wasn’t the same. I didn’t feel like myself. I constantly felt distant from reality, questioned what I was doing, and basically criticized every microscopic detail about myself. I didn’t feel like myself, because frankly, I wasn’t.

I went back to my dorm almost every night/ to the park bench outside (sorry to all by-passers) and cried. And prayed. And then cried some more. Why did it seem everyone else was having such an easy time? Was something wrong with me? Why don’t I feel at home?

On one specific day, I was bawling to my mother over the phone. “Mom, I just don’t feel the same. I feel like I’ll never be able to have the true friendships I had ever again.”

Immediately she responded, “Rachael, you’ve been there for two weeks. Those friendships took years to make… you can’t expect that happen in a matter of days.”

All of a sudden, it clicked. I was putting a world of pressure on myself. How did I expect everything to be just the way it was when everything was instantly so different? Those friendships, those bonds, those memories… they didn’t happen in days. I finally realized that this was one of those things that I couldn’t put in any amount of work to make it spontaneously better, all I could count on was time.

And time passed. I went home for Christmas break. I got to catch up with my close friends, see my sweet guy, spend some quality time with my family, and relax a little. I had time to breathe and reflect on the past couple of months. It reminded me that even though I left for college every couple of months, I always had people to come back to. I was never truly alone (cheesy, but so true). Four weeks passed, and something surprising happened.

I was ready to go back? Not even just ready, but *excited*? I couldn't wait to see everyone, to be back on campus, and to start my classes; this was the first time I was enthusiastic about leaving for college. It was a peaceful feeling, even liberating, you might say. I was finally starting to feel like I might belong, and this gave me an abundance of energy to tackle my next semester. To meet new people, to make more of those lasting, genuine friendships. My classes, my friends, my job; suddenly, it felt like everything was falling into place. After about a year and a half of worry and stress about leaving high school (and an ocean of tears), I finally found peace within the change taking place in my life.

Things. Take. Time.

In every season, there is a new struggle, a new challenge to face that seems it could last forever. Best news: I promise it doesn't. It may feel like it at the time, but in the grand scheme of things, it is worth it. Good things take time to develop and come to those who wait patiently. While I wouldn’t prefer to do it again, I wouldn’t replace it either. I would never be the person I am now or be where I am today without this past semester. I learned perhaps more than I have ever known about myself, my abilities, and the people surrounding me.

So I encourage you, whatever you are going through, whatever you’re facing, it will pass. Whatever obstacles you're currently against, you'll make your way around. Keep your head up, and see the good in the hard times. It's there.

Things. Take. Time.