face it

I am absolutely terrible at comparing myself to others. Here are a couple of things that have gone through my mind:

Not as involved

Not as fit

Not as smart

Not as healthy

I assure you, the list goes on and on.

Scrolling through social media, the list just increases. Geez, why don’t I eat that healthy? Why do I sunburn instead of tan? Should I be going to the gym more? It’s like my flaws are magnified for me, exemplified on every Instagram page. I’m not this, I’m not that. But she is. But they are. So why am I not?

Don’t get me wrong, I think social media can have its perks. Its easier to stay in touch with friends, see what family is up to, and so on. But, in this generation, I think it’s caused a lot of problems as well. I think we are one of the most competitive, perfect-seeking, anxiety-ridden generations there has ever been.

And, why is that? Personally, I think it is in part because of how easy it is to compare ourselves to others. It’s flying in our face 24/7, and never really stops.

For one example, when I first started college, I was having a really hard time being away from home. As I scrolled through Instagram, I saw all these posts about how my friends were just having the time of their life with their new experiences. They were smiling. Going to parties. Having fun. I felt like there was something extremely wrong with me for not having the same feelings all day every day.

One night, I called up one of my friends that had just posted a cute picture at a party. She looked like she was having a great time, maybe I could get some advice from her? I told her how I was feeling, how hard it was, and honestly, how I just wanted to go home. I felt like I would never fit in, and didn’t see how it would get better if everyone was having so much fun already. I cried, “You know, like you. You’re having such a fun time… please tell me what I’m doing wrong. I don’t understand.”

There was a pause. “Rachael… I’m having an awful time.”

Wait.

Hold the phone.

The SAME girl I had just seen a picture of, smiling in a post, teeth and all, is NOT having a good time?

See, we often look at things from one perspective. Instagram was that one perspective for me. People can seem like they are the happiest, most perfect people (c’mon, everyone posts their happy moments!) … when in fact, that’s not the case at all. One, two, three, or even 25 pictures aren’t going to show that person’s struggles.

It doesn't show that a couple of minutes before, that person was feeling uncomfortable in their own skin. It doesn't show that they were crying two nights before. It doesn't show the stress they have been feeling, and the worries they can't seem to shake - they put a smile over all of it for the picture.

Although it may seem people have it all, there is an entire human life behind a profile. Maybe they’re not struggling with the same thing as you. Maybe they are. Maybe they’re dealing with something so off your radar that THEY’RE thinking that they wish they could be more like you.

Keep in mind that everyone is going through something, even if you can’t tell simply by looking at their page. Face it, an entire person’s life will never fit in their profile.