are we there yet?

New year new resolution, am I right? Every year, we pick one thing to focus on (or several if you’re a real go-getter) to improve ourselves or quality of life. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. Well, for my resolution, I always pick one word that will *hopefully* help create a better version of myself. Because let’s be honest - I’m a mess. We all are in some ways, and there’s always something I can find about myself that needs a lot of improvement. Last year it was taking more “risks” (still not my forte, but improvements were made) and the year before it was giving myself “grace”. This year, I think I decidedly found my word.

When we’re younger, we simply don’t have the concept of time yet. We see something, we want it, we go out and get it *cue Ariana Grande's "7 rings"*. We don’t have the patience to wait around for something to happen, whether that’s minutes or months. Psh, my 10-year-old brother started singing “Happy Birthday” to himself the day after Christmas (his birthday is in April). “Are we there yet?” isn’t a concept of waiting, it's a concept of already being there. We didn’t ask, “How many more minutes?” or, "What is our estimated time arrival?" It was as if we didn’t even recognize there was a time for things to take place. Time was what we made it, and we believed that the best time was the present.

I wish I still had this mindset on various aspects of life. Because, well, what time is guaranteed to us? We make all of these big plans for in 5 years, 10 years, etc. And don’t get me wrong, I am a big planner. Cannot love plans more. Still, why do we choose to wait over and over and over again for what we want to be now?? Why do we constantly put our aspirations aside because they don’t seem to fit into our current lives?? Will there ever be an ideal time?

I mean, of course it’s good to have your Plan A. The one that keeps you on the right track, provides stability, etc etc. But you can simultaneously work towards your Plan A and sprinkle your Plan B in there, too. You know, those childlike dreams. Of being a rockstar AND a teacher. Of being an artist AND a scientist. A construction worker AND President. I know these are big big big dreams.... but why not?? I know it’s not *practical*, but who says you can’t??

I think what a lot of us are terrified of is failure. Failure to follow through. Failure to live up to our expectations. Failure to be what others see in us. It has this way of petrifying us to the point where we just become frozen with fear. But.... don’t we mess up anyways?? Don’t we make mistakes in what we’re doing now? What’s the difference?

My point is, we’re going to fail in anything we do, whether it’s our dreams or our daily routine. We should take the opportunity to grow with failure. To test the waters. At least you’ll know you tried, did your best, or found that it wasn’t for you. Or... your dreams could take off. (yeah, they never really mention that part, do they?)

And that’s why I’m here. I decided to quit telling myself that there’s a better time, there’s a time I’ll be more prepared. I’ll tell you right now, there’s not. I can’t keep wishing for something to take off if I never start, and I can’t keep expecting to get better if I never fall. So, here’s to failing, to flying, and to dreaming.

2020 is my year of doing.